Its ok to say something sucks!

Its ok to say something sucks!

A lot of new age wisdom talks about not focusing on the bad or uncomfortable things in your life and to some extent I agree but not entirely. Awhile back I had a cancer patient in my office talking about how she was trying really hard to focus only on the positive and not let her mind wander to her negative feelings. It had been a struggle and she was there asking me to help her make it easier. “I want you to make it so I only think positive thoughts.” Hmmm, I thought, good luck with that.

I asked her how she really felt. “Well, most of the time I’m ok but quite frankly this really sucks!” Now she was being real and I far preferred that version of her. The truth is we have to acknowledge our feelings, the good the bad and the really screwed up. That doesn’t mean we have to swim in a deep pool full of them for hours but they do need to be given a voice. To suppress the parts of you that have negative feelings is not only disrespectful to yourself but also counter-productive. Those unacknowledged feelings don’t just go away they go deeper. When you keep ignoring them they will begin to pester when you let your guard down, like when you are trying to sleep.

Emotion is just energy in motion so don’t be afraid of your feelings. They are just feelings and can’t hurt you. The following are things you can do to help emotions (particularly unpleasant ones) come in and go out of your mind when you are done with them.

Journal: The undisputed king of emotional healing. Write down how you feel. Use the F-word if you need to, it’s ok to just let it out. A 20 page rant is good for you and will help you feel better.

Exercise: This is a suggestion from my friend Michele Meiche. Focus on an unpleasant emotion then go for a run while allowing that emotion to move through you. At the end of your run bring up a picture of the opposite emotion or situation and allow yourself to feel that for a while. It helps you see and feel both sides of a situation.

Yoga: This is kind of exercise too but in a different way. Most people don’t realize this but emotions are actually caused by hormones that float in your body. They have found receptor sites for emotions in tissues all over the body. Doing yoga will help you free old or stuck emotions from those tissues.

Eating: Never use food to deal with emotions with one exception. Very dark chocolate (over 70% cocoa) had been clinically shown to help release a love-related chemical known as phenylethylamine which can actually make you happier. My favorite is the Endangered species 88% Cocoa individual wrapped chocolate pieces. 50 calories each for those of you that care.

Being honest with yourself about all your feelings really is the healthiest way to be. Feeling bad for a few minutes a day will not make bad things happen to you, sometimes the bad just happens. Love yourself through all your feelings even the ones you wish you didn’t have. Eventually they too shall pass and you can move on.

Jill Thomas CCHT
Healthy Habits Hypnosis
760-803-2841
www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com